Midterm Analysis of “How to Date a Brown Girl (Black Girl, White Girl, or Halfie)” By Junot Diaz
LFCC ENG 112 Midterm; March 2021
How To Date A Brown Girl (black girl, white girl, or halfie) | The …
https://www.newyorker.com › magazine › 1995/12/25
The narrator of this story is instructing the leader on how to treat girls from different races. Each part of the theoretical “date” is broken into what each girl will expect. Every girl needs a different narrative, and some skip steps altogether. The ultimate goal is to keep each girl happy and interested so that he can achieve the end goal of sexual gratification. The beginning is contingent on first impressions, like hiding the government cheese and making sure the bathroom is clean. We then learn how to interact with each ethnicity during each section of the “date”. What to say while walking to and from the meal, where to eat, and how to respond to certain questions and statements. Each girl apparently has unique expectations and we learn how to satisfy these expectations in this fairly detailed (and also sexist) instruction manual.
The narrator is understood to be a teenage boy of Dominican descent navigating the dating scene in the 1970s and 1980s. He is slightly ashamed of his heritage and has seemingly figured how to successfully hide his insecurities for each girl. He displays some signs of fragile masculinity throughout the story. He knows that each girl has a different expectation and he wants to help others dupe these girls into believing that they are with a “man” that meets their specifications, even if they are not of the same ethnicity. He seems like any other 80s horny teenage boy; he thinks he’s got the whole system figured out.
The narrator lives in the Terrace, a neighborhood in New Jersey. This is assumed to be a poorer area with underprivileged families and many instances of poverty. As we progress through the story, the narrator describes different scenarios in different parts of the neighborhood. We learn how to act in both a restaurant and talking through the streets. The neighborhood itself symbolizes some of the insecurities the narrator faces. He is ashamed of his ethnicity and background. One example of this is when he says “run a hand through your hair like the white boys do,” (para. 7). This is indicative of his assumption that he will never be as good as a “white boy” unless he acts like one.
There are multiple symbols in this story, and almost all of them correlate with the narrator’s background and insecurities about his class. The government cheese (para. 2) that he recommends that we hide shows that they are receiving government assistance and he the girls may not want him if they find this out. The bucket of soiled toilet paper (para. 3) gives us insight into the state of their residence, suggesting it may not be well kept up and in a poorer part of town. The tear gas involved an anecdote (para. 8) he recommends can be representative of his heritage and the oppression his family endured. The embarrassing pictures he instructs us to hide (para. 2) hint at the poverty and his background. All of these are examples of things he doesn’t want to be shown out of pride for himself. He believes that unless you are displayed as a normal white guy, she may not want you.
In light of the #metoo movement, this story would be offensive to a lot of people, both men and women alike. Personally, the story didn’t offend me because I know this story was not written as a literal guide, instead, it’s an insight into what life was really like for an impoverished teenage boy in the late 20th century. Diaz was writing this to give others an idea of all of the things he and thousands of other boys were thinking as they became young men. They lived in areas where classism was still very much a part of everyday life. There were unspoken rules that had to be followed when it came to who you could date. The narrator is, in a sense, teaching us how to break these boundaries in a way that would not be seen as a blatant middle finger to society.
If we are speaking in politically correct statements, yes; the narrator is sexist. He is stereotyping girls of different races into three groups and he is putting forth the expectation that they will all behave in the same manner. Expecting that a white girl is most likely to please him sexually because she wants to rebel against her parents is sexist AND classist. “A local girl will have hips and a nice ass” (para. 13) is assuming they all have the same body type, a sexist suggestion. Stating that it can be expected a “local girl” (para. 13) won’t go past first base, that she will think less of him than people of her own skin color is sexist. BUT — we must remember that this was a different time and frankly a different environment. How to Date is written by a grown man that went through that growth period and is now describing his experience as a PSA of sorts to those who grew up in areas where racism and classism weren’t as prevalent. It is not to offend, but to teach us the different world that is different areas of the country. Not just specific neighborhoods like the terrace, but whole cities and parts of states. I would not identify this story as racist outside of describing the girls as “brown and halfie”.
The main theme of the story is ultimately the narrator’s confidence, or lack thereof. He is so consumed with making sure that the girl only sees the best part of him indicates he is ashamed of his heritage and his family. The symbolism from government cheese and the toilet-bucket situation shows the monetary embarrassment, but we get a look into some deeper-rooted issues chronicled later on. he states “You’ll wonder how she feels about Dominicans. Don’t ask” (para.13). In his mind, he knows that mentioning his ethnicity could give her a deeper perspective into him and his background, and give her reason to doubt him. He is completely aware of the stereotype surrounding his neighborhood and he is trying to cover it up. There is some fragile masculinity evident as the story progresses and we start to realize that more effort is put into the white girls instead of those of color. This is because he knows that it will give home a higher standing among his friends if he scores a white girl from the nice part of town, rather than a brown one from home. This shows his “macho side”, as he wants to seem bigger and better than others.
This is a personal account. Diaz grew up in this manner and he experienced the pitfalls of dating as a disadvantaged Dominican boy from the “ghetto”. Like I stated in paragraph two, this narrative is not actually meant to be a dating guide. It is to help us understand history. It is to help us comprehend the hardships of an area not often represented in journals or modern media. The reality is there were areas like the Terrace all over the country. Boys similar to the narrator desperately wanted to feel accepted and were doing all they could to grow into this new world of girls and grown-up responsibilities. Racism persisted through the 70s, 80s, and 90s even though the civil rights movement had all but ended. The stereotypes were very much a real thing and these people in these areas of poverty banded together with others who looked like them. This was a form of security and protection for one another. This is a historical story. Yes, there would be some backlash from this story but there is a multitude of people that would see this as a chance for others to understand a part of our history that has never really been discussed before. Not as a racist and sexist dating log, but as a chance to understand from an anthropological perspective.
Going into this I thought that it would be a truly racist story written in a time where it was appropriate, and I was wrong. This story is quite possibly one of the most interesting English projects I’ve completed. This story chronicles a teenager who is lost against the world of stereotypes and women. He has so many expectations for himself that he loses touch with who he is. “Tell her that you love her hair, that you love her skin, her lips, because in truth, you love them more than your own,” (para. 13). He is so worried that the slightest hint of his true background will make him seem undesirable. This is a story not very many people know. This was a time period a lot of people tend to ignore and as a result, we assume that it was insignificant. These areas of people seeking the American Dream were the same as everywhere else. They played a huge part in the development of our modern cities, specifically their culture.
